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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55920) - you deserved it (4159)
On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by david (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6047) - you deserved it (31662)
On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was using my fiance's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discrete intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (1965)
On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (1905)
On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (2434)
On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3575) - you deserved it (27713)
On 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (1981)
On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (1708)
On 02/28/2010 at 8:10am - love - by FBfail (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (2343)
On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (1985)
On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (2668)
On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5960) - you deserved it (22777)
On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - love - by caughttt (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after being away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to put on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (1647)
On 02/09/2010 at 10:43am - love - by safariboo - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30911) - you deserved it (2409)
On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (2137)
On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)
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