xx_serenity

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Offline (the 03/17/2016 at 4:45am)

xx_serenity

1Fucked!

xx_serenity
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 644
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xx_serenity's page activity

Visits<b>Carnage23</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:14am<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:27am<b>snsdGG</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:01pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:46am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:38am<b>ProudDaddy</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:46am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:49am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 5:44pm<b>ann98darne</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 3:31am<b>PainStressLife</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 12:15am<b>rabidraccoon</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 12:52am<b>TheLazyStoner</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 12:21am

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:46pm

xx_serenity's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of xx_serenity's badges

xx_serenity's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried dying my hair blonde. I put my hair in a bun and waited for it to dye. I guess I did something wrong, because my hair is now 4 different shades of blonde/orange, along with patches of my natural black hair. FML

by shitberries / 12/25/2015 at 11:00am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

by Pandistoteles / 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm / United States / Kids

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

by ZombiexIce / 02/09/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

by jigglepuff / 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love