Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xx000o

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

xx000o

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1500
  • Number of comments : 371
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About xx000o :

xx000o's page activity

Visits<b>Mermaidhead</b> - yesterday at 9:54pm<b>ScoobyDude</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:44am<b>Stazza11</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:40pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:37am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:04am<b>hunterjumper88</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:39am<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:26am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:07am<b>turtleburglar</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:41am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 5:47pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:59pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:11pm<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:12pm<b>felonyfights</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:35pm<b>xFireproox</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:32pm<b>watthef</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:54pm<b>WattledParsley</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Rainbow2Cloud</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:48pm

Liked!<b>Stazza11</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:22am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:29pm

xx000o's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of xx000o's badges

xx000o's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

#21348955
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:26am - animals - by dogbreederssuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

#21322620
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34013) - you deserved it (3065)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35594) - you deserved it (2742)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53070) - you deserved it (7155)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (3015)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52396) - you deserved it (8862)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43920) - you deserved it (5396)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50269) - you deserved it (5024)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54771) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62778) - you deserved it (6467)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48952) - you deserved it (20734)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47349) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28610) - you deserved it (1840)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: