Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xviem

Search for a member

xviem

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xviem's page activity

Visits<b>Tyler008</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 11:29am

xviem's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xviem's favorite FMLs

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35437) - you deserved it (7442)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43615) - you deserved it (2770)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39588) - you deserved it (13236)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26836) - you deserved it (9479)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (4225)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

#17254567
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27178) - you deserved it (11332)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by youjustsuck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (8232)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

#17250020
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (9126)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:43am - intimacy - by best_friend - United States (Texas)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62350) - you deserved it (7322)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (4470)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (6290)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

#17145151
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32801) - you deserved it (7273)

On 07/17/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by grenade (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38642) - you deserved it (3493)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49228) - you deserved it (14556)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131936) - you deserved it (7352)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: