Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xs4u

Offline (the 02/19/2015 at 5:34pm) | Search for a member

xs4u

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11682
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xs4u : Social media manager. Tech freak. Horror/science fiction/fantasy film/book buff. LOVE anime & a good laugh. ANDROID is the future.

xs4u's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:01am<b>FatedB</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:18am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:01pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:02am<b>alexissage</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 5:50pm<b>christian2234</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Allennis44</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 6:26pm<b>joea21</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 5:47pm<b>907nispel</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 4:46pm<b>Sp4de</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 7:14am<b>magicdrummer47</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 1:12am<b>Gho5tk3y</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:45pm<b>Melix</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:18am<b>shaar</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:51am<b>ChefCook9001</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 12:32am<b>lustyzombie01</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 5:37am<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:39am

xs4u's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of xs4u's badges

xs4u's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32418) - you deserved it (2828)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

#19225860
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30992) - you deserved it (1849)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:57am - work - by Shan007tjuuh (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

#19225607
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16268) - you deserved it (5946)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:20am - misc - by BlueBirdWings (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30864) - you deserved it (3498)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

#19223342
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7664) - you deserved it (27333)

On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25473) - you deserved it (7746)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

#19222204
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8848) - you deserved it (25882)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

#19222051
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28700) - you deserved it (9475)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML

#19221351
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7293) - you deserved it (66348)

On 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (2696)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

#19216663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22506) - you deserved it (2593)

On 03/04/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Karen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML

#19216296
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19660) - you deserved it (1760)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21719) - you deserved it (27423)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (9698)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (9698)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: