xs4u

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Offline (the 07/22/2016 at 3:30am)

xs4u

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 February 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15611
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xs4u : Social media manager. Tech freak. Horror/science fiction/fantasy film/book buff. LOVE anime & a good laugh. ANDROID is the future.

xs4u's page activity

Visits<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 6:45am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Varieus</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 2:16pm<b>jacqui_matznick</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 1:16pm<b>uhhitsmegan</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:15pm<b>pwagner014</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:01am<b>FatedB</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:18am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:01pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:02am<b>alexissage</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 5:50pm<b>christian2234</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Allennis44</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 6:26pm<b>joea21</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 5:47pm<b>907nispel</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 4:46pm<b>Sp4de</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 7:14am

Fucked!<b>jacqui_matznick</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:16pm

xs4u's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of xs4u's badges

xs4u's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot / 01/04/2014 at 2:21am / United States / Animals

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

by ... / 01/04/2014 at 12:25am / United States / Love

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

by estranger / 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

by fuck off, dad / 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

by Babs / 01/02/2014 at 8:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 4:50am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

by Vincent / 01/02/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Animals

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

by Okay_Then / 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

by Crashed / 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

by SabriLittleRed / 01/01/2014 at 1:18pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.