xs4u

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Offline (the 02/19/2015 at 5:34pm)

xs4u

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 February 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14302
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xs4u : Social media manager. Tech freak. Horror/science fiction/fantasy film/book buff. LOVE anime & a good laugh. ANDROID is the future.

xs4u's page activity

Visits<b>pwagner014</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:01am<b>FatedB</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:18am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:01pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:02am<b>alexissage</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 5:50pm<b>christian2234</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Allennis44</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 6:26pm<b>joea21</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 5:47pm<b>907nispel</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 4:46pm<b>Sp4de</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 7:14am<b>magicdrummer47</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 1:12am<b>Gho5tk3y</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:45pm<b>Melix</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:18am<b>shaar</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:51am<b>ChefCook9001</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 12:32am<b>lustyzombie01</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 5:37am

xs4u's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of xs4u's badges

xs4u's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

by blah! / 12/08/2013 at 8:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

by mystery / 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

by :^( / 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm / Bahrain (Madinat) / Health

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my fifteen year old son decided to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

by jessierules93 / 12/07/2013 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

by eat my fucking ass, boss / 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

by oh / 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 1:15pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous