About xs4u : Social media manager. Tech freak. Horror/science fiction/fantasy film/book buff. LOVE anime & a good laugh. ANDROID is the future.
xs4u's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
xs4u's favorite FMLs
by goingtothegym / 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by blah! / 12/08/2013 at 8:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by ballplaya52 / 12/08/2013 at 12:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML
by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML
by mystery / 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
by :^( / 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm / Bahrain (Madinat) / Health
by eer004 / 12/07/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/07/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Work
by jessierules93 / 12/07/2013 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML
by eat my fucking ass, boss / 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by oh / 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…