Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xpheonix57

Search for a member

xpheonix57

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 116
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xpheonix57's page activity

Visits<b>BubbleGrunge</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 11:09am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 5:11am

xpheonix57's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of xpheonix57's badges

xpheonix57's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49795) - you deserved it (9355)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (23231)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (8121)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54476) - you deserved it (7688)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

#21179364
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44553) - you deserved it (7038)

On 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm - love - by AgentRarity (woman) -

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50793) - you deserved it (5794)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49855) - you deserved it (8380)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45880) - you deserved it (4192)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40366) - you deserved it (4398)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47034) - you deserved it (5437)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42143) - you deserved it (6153)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

#21164644
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43173) - you deserved it (8091)

On 06/06/2014 at 2:24am - kids - by playdated - United States (California)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61558) - you deserved it (5419)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

#21153154
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (4387)

On 05/27/2014 at 7:15am - animals - by Holyguacamoly (woman) - Iceland

Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML

#21149888
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47634) - you deserved it (4603)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:14am - love - by SE011194 - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: