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xpheonix57

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 6:52am) | Search for a member

xpheonix57

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  • Number of visits : 240
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xpheonix57's page activity

Visits<b>BubbleGrunge</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 11:09am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 5:11am

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xpheonix57's favorite FMLs

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (4491)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

#21268536
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37733) - you deserved it (7573)

On 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53093) - you deserved it (10114)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44795) - you deserved it (25526)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40503) - you deserved it (8144)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57410) - you deserved it (7984)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

#21179364
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44781) - you deserved it (7055)

On 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm - love - by AgentRarity (woman) -

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50919) - you deserved it (5804)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50060) - you deserved it (8397)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46098) - you deserved it (4205)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40682) - you deserved it (4425)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47704) - you deserved it (5517)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42667) - you deserved it (6213)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe



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