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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xox_sandy_xox

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xox_sandy_xox
  • Town/Country : canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 824
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xox_sandy_xox's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926 (691)

I agree, your life sucks (6323) - you deserved it (88210)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

#1692972 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (47731) - you deserved it (7968)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (81663) - you deserved it (15874)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML

#1683543 (547)

I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (84148)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML

#1617373 (545)

I agree, your life sucks (66844) - you deserved it (180373)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (90944)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (58046) - you deserved it (4855)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

#1091323 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (32139) - you deserved it (22925)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

#1090748 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (39425) - you deserved it (6815)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

#1026583 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (70859) - you deserved it (5982)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by Puppysit88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (61752) - you deserved it (19906)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

#897879 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (47983) - you deserved it (6855)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347 (423)

I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (94682)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

#859604 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (56675) - you deserved it (138542)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (80192) - you deserved it (33128)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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