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xopher425

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 12:09am) | Search for a member

xopher425

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1975 (39 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 883
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xopher425 : Some days your life is fucked, some days you deserve it. But most of the time you deserve your fucked up life.

xopher425's page activity

Visits<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:22am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:42am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:41am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:40pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:35pm<b>poppppojs</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 8:03pm<b>thegreatericmoor</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:37am<b>Jurnee1011</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:52am<b>Bubule</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:37pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:36pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 2:13am<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:05pm<b>tacomonkey</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:59pm<b>casafudge</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 6:23pm

xopher425's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of xopher425's badges

xopher425's favorite FMLs

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53233) - you deserved it (6549)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40017) - you deserved it (4856)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47295) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (7997)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42698) - you deserved it (3953)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41563) - you deserved it (2470)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43525) - you deserved it (3229)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31970) - you deserved it (5392)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10812) - you deserved it (36847)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55072) - you deserved it (4423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24525) - you deserved it (7244)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31921) - you deserved it (5454)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)



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