Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xopher425

Online | Search for a member

xopher425

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1975 (40 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2261
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xopher425 : Some days your life is fucked, some days you deserve it. But most of the time you deserve your fucked up life.

xopher425's page activity

Visits<b>JLBavard</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:29pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:49am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:47am<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:21am<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:55am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 2:48pm<b>happyjesus</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:18am<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:21pm<b>an3ph</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:04am<b>Mac_Alvy</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:08pm<b>Wormie14</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 2:23pm<b>SandyRae</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:22am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:42am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:41am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:08pm

xopher425's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of xopher425's badges

xopher425's favorite FMLs

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44227) - you deserved it (3275)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (24652)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36265) - you deserved it (30362)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50769) - you deserved it (11377)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (41540)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58405) - you deserved it (29099)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (68175)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (37510)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51443) - you deserved it (11149)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59756) - you deserved it (6438)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (7360)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45724) - you deserved it (22455)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48534) - you deserved it (2830)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48648) - you deserved it (14900)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57263) - you deserved it (3888)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: