This member hasn't filled in the description.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36141) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (6933)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (4769)
On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8131) - you deserved it (21125)
On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (2678)
On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (4812)
On 03/20/2010 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by drew_ar85 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (7816)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5155) - you deserved it (17466)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5526) - you deserved it (16909)
On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31623) - you deserved it (2577)
On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5400) - you deserved it (36223)
On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3217) - you deserved it (16078)
On 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by jlowder2 - United States (Illinois)
Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you deserved it (5118)
On 11/07/2009 at 11:04am - work - by John (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I took a trip to Wal-Mart. There's a car wash that they conveniently built right outside of this Wal-Mart. So as I was leaving, I decided to make use of this car wash, not even thinking about the $200 worth of groceries I had just purchased. I drive a pick-up truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5838) - you deserved it (47681)
On 10/27/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by dave (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
