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xopher425

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xopher425
  • Town/Country : Chicago
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1975 (39 years)
  • Number of visits : 531
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xopher425's last visitors

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xopher425's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of xopher425's badges

xopher425's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (25825)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42242) - you deserved it (8781)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25672) - you deserved it (37586)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50166) - you deserved it (25052)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (63611)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47875) - you deserved it (10277)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51723) - you deserved it (5349)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40047) - you deserved it (6669)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42612) - you deserved it (20898)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (2211)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42103) - you deserved it (12860)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52986) - you deserved it (3573)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (7369)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48223) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39458) - you deserved it (2381)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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