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xoamy906

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xoamy906
  • Town/Country : Scranton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 September 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 98
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xoamy906 : i'm amy and i don't know what i'm doing with my life

xoamy906's last visitors

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xoamy906's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53344) - you deserved it (7619)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (1623)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (4909)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (1754)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12434) - you deserved it (4721)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5385) - you deserved it (26377)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (4903)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (2594)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

#6607
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35934) - you deserved it (2954)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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