About xoamy906 : i'm amy and i don't know what i'm doing with my life
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Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53344) - you deserved it (7619)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (2956)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (1623)
On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)
Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (4909)
On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (1754)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12434) - you deserved it (4721)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5385) - you deserved it (26377)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (2594)
On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States
Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35934) - you deserved it (2954)
On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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