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xoamy906

Offline (the 01/26/2014 at 11:33pm) | Search for a member

xoamy906

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1043
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xoamy906 : i'm amy and i don't know what i'm doing with my life

xoamy906's page activity

Visits<b>cinskeep43</b> - yesterday at 3:43pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:27pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:10am<b>lexiale</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:35am<b>Coltsfan800</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Angelkisses130</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:22am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:46am<b>__juanito__</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:25am<b>rizzo777</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:29am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:42pm<b>helpmeimdreaming</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:15am<b>MikeyLean</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:32pm<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:57am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:45am<b>Eggploint</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:46am<b>brittany224466</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:09pm<b>Eater209</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:00am

xoamy906's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xoamy906's badges

xoamy906's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39733) - you deserved it (6084)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (4726)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53035) - you deserved it (32295)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (14700)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38974) - you deserved it (9231)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53603) - you deserved it (5331)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (6568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31354) - you deserved it (4362)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (2225)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39243) - you deserved it (6371)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34133) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (4315)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (4315)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18289) - you deserved it (6861)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7284) - you deserved it (32178)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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