xlorawrz

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Offline (the 12/03/2016 at 3:40pm)

xlorawrz

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2372
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xlorawrz : I'm not good at writing these, so...
Bye.

xlorawrz's page activity

Visits<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 6:27pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 10:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 9:03pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 6:58pm<b>knitsuga</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 7:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:52am<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 12:45pm<b>infernno</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 12:55am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:16pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:51pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:05am<b>DABOSS_14</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:15pm<b>Cumminsdan</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 6:01pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:08am<b>ugafan29379</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:37am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:50pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:04pm<b>byattwain</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:24am

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:52pm<b>DABOSS_14</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 4:14am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:05am<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:49am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:24pm

xlorawrz's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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xlorawrz's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

by Tooyoungforthis / 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 10:44am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

by fuckmyassimcold / 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

by madari / 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm / Spain (Andalucia) / Love

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

by CaptainSaveAHoe / 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 2:31am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Health

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

by itwasmyfavoriteshirt / 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

by WELLFUCKYOUTOO / 08/14/2012 at 11:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Love