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xlorawrz

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xlorawrz
  • Town/Country : England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 April 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 699
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xlorawrz : I'm not good at writing these, so...
Bye.

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xlorawrz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16396) - you deserved it (5713)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

#20127131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (1957)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (4698)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22043) - you deserved it (1446)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

#20033299
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13935) - you deserved it (1282)

On 08/21/2012 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28647) - you deserved it (1225)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
500 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10413) - you deserved it (144954)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

#20024649
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20823) - you deserved it (1681)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

#20014872
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23827) - you deserved it (2383)

On 08/11/2012 at 5:13am - money - by scammerssuck - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (11925)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

#19917183
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24840) - you deserved it (2687)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm - love - by sober (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17924) - you deserved it (1107)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (2700)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States



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