xlorawrz

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xlorawrz

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1944
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xlorawrz : I'm not good at writing these, so...
Bye.

xlorawrz's page activity

Visits<b>infernno</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 12:55am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:16pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:51pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:14pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:05am<b>DABOSS_14</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:15pm<b>Cumminsdan</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 6:01pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 9:47am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:08am<b>ugafan29379</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:37am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:50pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:04pm<b>byattwain</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:24am<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:49pm<b>ajm278</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:12pm<b>amine91</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:50am<b>IAmQuiteFrank</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:46am<b>Fymlife</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:33pm

Fucked!<b>DABOSS_14</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 4:14am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:05am<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:49am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:24pm

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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xlorawrz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

by yesguysgetabusedtoo / 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

by SariLone / 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm / India (Maharashtra) / Love

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

by InDisbelief / 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

by noooooooo / 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:08am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Intimacy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work