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xlittlemiss

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xlittlemiss

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  • Number of visits : 1012
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xlittlemiss's page activity

Visits<b>Arjunt</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:08pm

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xlittlemiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (85975)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

#1840722
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50242) - you deserved it (9213)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Manatee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

#1643455
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (43718)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15722) - you deserved it (117405)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148491) - you deserved it (21668)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19010) - you deserved it (89413)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

#831466
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64021) - you deserved it (9144)

On 04/06/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by annonymous (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65190) - you deserved it (4532)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (83586)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (192252)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53186) - you deserved it (31923)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58209) - you deserved it (10089)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21385) - you deserved it (38030)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

#94421
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (44772)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)



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