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xlittlemiss

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xlittlemiss

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  • Number of visits : 895
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xlittlemiss's page activity

Visits<b>Arjunt</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:08pm

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xlittlemiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

#18491637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (2722)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48553) - you deserved it (7725)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34529) - you deserved it (8051)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38886) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51074) - you deserved it (8045)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35982) - you deserved it (9409)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (3761)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8651) - you deserved it (28437)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8938) - you deserved it (44427)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31509) - you deserved it (2984)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML

#17035825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (7337)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13008) - you deserved it (43575)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41386) - you deserved it (17436)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML

#16033229
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13463) - you deserved it (30324)

On 05/03/2011 at 3:51pm - health - by Username - United States (Washington)



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