Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xlcowboylx

Online | Search for a member

xlcowboylx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 109
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xlcowboylx : College student, military man, night owl, bedroom/car singer, individual, skeptic, critical thinker and gamer. That pretty much sums me up at the moment I think.

xlcowboylx's page activity

Visits<b>StarDust5921</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:20pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:42am<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:05am<b>InnocentMalice</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 6:01am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 12:50am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:22pm<b>rach0545</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:05pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:35pm<b>frankiero</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 1:32pm<b>elmatador615</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:18am<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 5:05pm<b>McPickleStache</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:22pm<b>djPanda</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 2:52pm

xlcowboylx's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of xlcowboylx's badges

xlcowboylx's favorite FMLs

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63540) - you deserved it (8082)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (12534)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41222) - you deserved it (4654)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (406382) - you deserved it (66811)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241305) - you deserved it (31668)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (212067) - you deserved it (27337)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (180851) - you deserved it (28513)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232661) - you deserved it (30948)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: