[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

xjeff99

Search for a member

xjeff99
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2829
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xjeff99's last visitors

nuclearkk

xjeff99's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xjeff99's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (70770)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

#537010 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (71924) - you deserved it (13501)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (64165) - you deserved it (21322)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

#346119 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (91696) - you deserved it (11084)

On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (24647) - you deserved it (63575)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

#194766 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (79679) - you deserved it (4273)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (95912) - you deserved it (16562)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (179240) - you deserved it (31650)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)