xiar

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xiar

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 June 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2285
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xiar's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 7:00am<b>player20270</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:32pm<b>10220706</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 10:51am<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:07pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:53am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:40pm<b>savagetitan</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:48am<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:38pm<b>tsommer</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:30am<b>xXSunshineXx1</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:33am<b>BrownLyons</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:34am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 4:08pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:44am<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:44am<b>MissyPastaCreeps</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:02pm

xiar's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xiar's favorite FMLs

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

by Em / 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

by apparentlyugly / 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

by skmusic / 04/09/2009 at 1:04am / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

by acw2110 / 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

by Noname / 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm / United States (Nebraska) / Animals

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

by JulleandCici / 01/31/2009 at 10:03am / Animals

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

by mark / 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm / Kids