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xiar

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xiar
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 June 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1075
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xiar's favorite FMLs

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (64374)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (79135)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML

#569324
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (70929)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

#90638
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65017) - you deserved it (10014)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by acw2110 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16730) - you deserved it (6212)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (3998)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15091) - you deserved it (6749)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version



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