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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 June 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2226
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xiar's page activity

Visits<b>player20270</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:32pm<b>10220706</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 10:51am<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:07pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:53am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:40pm<b>savagetitan</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:48am<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:38pm<b>tsommer</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:30am<b>xXSunshineXx1</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:33am<b>BrownLyons</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:34am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 4:08pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:44am<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:44am<b>MissyPastaCreeps</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:02pm<b>SwampNinja</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:20pm

xiar's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xiar's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 4:30am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

by embaressed / 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2010 at 1:22am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 6:34am / Oman (Masqat) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

by breathexali / 07/24/2010 at 6:50am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

by sarah / 07/14/2010 at 12:32am / United States / Health

Today, it was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, and said: "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

by SirPimPim / 06/14/2010 at 10:32am / Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

by flipflop / 06/07/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

by flipflop / 06/07/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

by nerdygirl101 / 03/13/2010 at 12:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

by sadcat / 02/06/2010 at 10:19am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

by anun / 01/14/2010 at 9:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy