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xiar

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xiar
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 June 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1070
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xiar's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xiar's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

#13339943
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47438) - you deserved it (3270)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (2182)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (15397)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

#12818513
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10170) - you deserved it (31531)

On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (23587)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32072) - you deserved it (9053)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, it was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, and said: "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

#11189636
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25133) - you deserved it (10786)

On 06/14/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by SirPimPim (man) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36516) - you deserved it (6582)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36516) - you deserved it (6582)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

#9037500
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (3459)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (8816)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

#8266626
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21652) - you deserved it (1818)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22440) - you deserved it (11989)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (5375)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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