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xenoid

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xenoid
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xenoid's badges

xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10556) - you deserved it (24473)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (7868)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

#16488839
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (34648)

On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (7882)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (7882)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

#16467969
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29051) - you deserved it (9246)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

#16467206
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (3113)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm - animals - by brittaneejanex - United States

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (14181)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52829) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (53474)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31213) - you deserved it (2947)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML

#16334194
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you deserved it (3407)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:34pm - kids - by OhDear (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45794) - you deserved it (6807)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)



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