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xenoid

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xenoid
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  • Number of visits : 67
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xenoid's badges

xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45049) - you deserved it (6764)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51355) - you deserved it (7809)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28378) - you deserved it (18312)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

#16233240
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (14374)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:15am - intimacy - by thoughtitwasspecial (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39983) - you deserved it (6914)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (9443)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54849) - you deserved it (7505)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15725) - you deserved it (26948)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31107) - you deserved it (6021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

#16114978
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (8879)

On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (9170)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML

#16077994
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18256) - you deserved it (7399)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by Cheerieful - United States

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

#16066360
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12608) - you deserved it (36184)

On 05/06/2011 at 10:07am - intimacy - by eringoBRA (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (3016)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (5316)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -



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