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xenoid

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xenoid

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  • Number of visits : 692
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xenoid's badges

xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (11338)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria

Today, I dislocated my collarbone while trying remove my bra without taking off my shirt. FML

#16825145
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (31935)

On 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm - health - by Ali (New York) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

#16707397
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8615) - you deserved it (35507)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:32am - misc - by seriouslybored (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (14233)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13670) - you deserved it (47924)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

#16646185
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45508) - you deserved it (17894)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by secretpornstar - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (7131)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (12090)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50262) - you deserved it (7808)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (5474)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11378) - you deserved it (25553)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (8199)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

#16488839
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (37961)

On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51094) - you deserved it (9893)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51094) - you deserved it (9893)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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