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xenoid

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xenoid
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 367
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xenoid's badges

xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (24289)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (10104)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8343) - you deserved it (21329)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (15283)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (58094)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

#16844513
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (16503)

On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20727) - you deserved it (9058)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria

Today, I dislocated my collarbone while trying remove my bra without taking off my shirt. FML

#16825145
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14938) - you deserved it (28763)

On 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm - health - by Ali (New York) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

#16707397
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7431) - you deserved it (31992)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:32am - misc - by seriouslybored (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (10624)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12516) - you deserved it (45856)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

#16646185
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (17208)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by secretpornstar - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (6951)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46329) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)



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