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xenoid

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xenoid
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 373
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xenoid's badges

xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24310) - you deserved it (9033)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

#17254567
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (10962)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by youjustsuck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

#17237842
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12590) - you deserved it (31865)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Men '86 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26584) - you deserved it (4073)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40593) - you deserved it (8956)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52791) - you deserved it (9115)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (10572)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

#17094031
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9704) - you deserved it (89470)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by sorehead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117206) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17694) - you deserved it (48500)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

#17046646
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm - health - by ilovedirt - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8565) - you deserved it (58556) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

#17030177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (2383)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:02pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

#17015904
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60129) - you deserved it (4793)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)



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