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xenoid

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xenoid

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  • Number of visits : 488
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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11426) - you deserved it (28661)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15108) - you deserved it (38890)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17991) - you deserved it (76359)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (3309)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8238) - you deserved it (38995)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19859) - you deserved it (43622)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

#17715363
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (2924)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (2667)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (3996)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

#17538600
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27501) - you deserved it (5483)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (9363)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

#17254567
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (11306)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by youjustsuck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

#17237842
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14210) - you deserved it (34576)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Men '86 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (4367)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42496) - you deserved it (9205)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)



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