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xenoid

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xenoid

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  • Number of visits : 494
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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22122) - you deserved it (18292)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (2201)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

#19164325
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10143) - you deserved it (24248)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13768) - you deserved it (32313)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (4464)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

#18922456
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6362) - you deserved it (59109)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:48am - health - by batsu (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

#18921610
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12580) - you deserved it (33954)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:46pm - money - by ChevRooon - United States

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (2527)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (6535)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my father introduced me to his new girlfriend. She could have passed for my little sister, or even worse, my daughter. FML

#18881598
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (2234)

On 01/22/2012 at 4:26pm - love - by Laura (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37203) - you deserved it (2209)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

#18860090
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (4407)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

#18675253
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28566) - you deserved it (14086)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)



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