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xenoid

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xenoid
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xenoid's badges

xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, my father introduced me to his new girlfriend. She could have passed for my little sister, or even worse, my daughter. FML

#18881598
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/22/2012 at 4:26pm - love - by Laura (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (1937)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

#18860090
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27075) - you deserved it (3318)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

#18675253
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (10375)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9981) - you deserved it (25333)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13688) - you deserved it (36467)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (73804)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (3212)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7877) - you deserved it (37885)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (42236)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

#17715363
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32372) - you deserved it (2434)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29432) - you deserved it (3841)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

#17538600
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (4189)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States



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