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xenoid

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xenoid

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  • Number of visits : 736
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xenoid's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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xenoid's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

#19536517
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (3922)

On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (4218)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37879) - you deserved it (5762)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (3601)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (3601)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19179) - you deserved it (36725)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38368) - you deserved it (2791)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14515) - you deserved it (34436)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14515) - you deserved it (34436)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (1871)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12597) - you deserved it (29618)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7680) - you deserved it (35858)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35779) - you deserved it (5270)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
595 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23195) - you deserved it (52970)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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