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xdust

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xdust

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2098
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

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xdust's page activity

Visits<b>ferdiandthebull</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 9:07am<b>SKITTLZ2000</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 4:34am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:37am<b>squigmo1414</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:42pm<b>swick25</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:43pm<b>jacobkeroack</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:57pm<b>myoukei</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:25pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 2:06pm<b>christianb2169</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:57am<b>CaiDog</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:13am<b>BenjiX</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 12:04pm<b>RealWorld</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 2:14am<b>Lostsoul5435</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 11:28pm<b>geeksaresexy</b> - the 05/25/2011 at 8:26am<b>transcedental</b> - the 04/08/2011 at 6:59pm

xdust's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xdust's badges

xdust's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (5278)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54284) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54997) - you deserved it (4418) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (7238)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6886) - you deserved it (45240)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37159) - you deserved it (5273)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29324) - you deserved it (3981)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17142) - you deserved it (44134)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17142) - you deserved it (44134)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35186) - you deserved it (5347)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28182) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (10704)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (7842)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments


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