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xarumitzu

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xarumitzu
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 218
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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xarumitzu's favorite FMLs

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (1608)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (19058) - you deserved it (4962)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

#6700407 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (2924) - you deserved it (14844)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by jlowder2 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (2845)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (752)

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (213787)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML

#498194 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (99543)

On 03/20/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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