[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

xalfredx

Search for a member

xalfredx
  • Town/Country : Covington, America the great.lol
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 February 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3440
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xalfredx : i'm an asshole,i'm straight edge,i'm the most sarcastic person you will ever meet and I am very youthful...

i also enjoy butthole sex

xalfredx's last visitors

Freezenafiul93littlefishyjes

xalfredx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xalfredx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (8857) - you deserved it (25630)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

#5653425 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (9199)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anstice (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

#5651382 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (5511) - you deserved it (36295)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

#5640097 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (37045) - you deserved it (6429)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist thought it would be helpful to confess my deepest problems to my friends, to prove that it was alright to trust people. I did. They laughed. Hard. FML

#5637685 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by backtosquareone (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML

#5636534 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (34820)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:03am - misc - by rebeccaremily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

#5635869 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (28202) - you deserved it (3860)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13am - love - by helplesslover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML

#5633540 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (5398)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (10031)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

#5620240 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (30141) - you deserved it (2412)

On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

#5609665 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (11636)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by jacked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (5346) - you deserved it (46845)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (1886)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)