xX_LilSammie_Xx

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xX_LilSammie_Xx

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1829
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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xX_LilSammie_Xx's page activity

Visits<b>raven83</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 9:03am<b>trevieh47</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 1:33pm<b>yenze</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 4:47pm<b>Noobish_Elk</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 12:34am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:52am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:19am<b>skyironsword</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:18pm<b>MannyM</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 8:14pm<b>jwp0211</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 5:38am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:58pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:34am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 1:13pm<b>Spacial</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 8:45am<b>sarahhhl</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:58am<b>Bgrish</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:20am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:57am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:20pm<b>deadpoolkilledu</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:19pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:55pm

xX_LilSammie_Xx's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xX_LilSammie_Xx's badges

xX_LilSammie_Xx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 12:57am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

by Sanchez / 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

by thatguy / 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

by Sigh / 09/13/2009 at 8:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

by sexyfreak2510 / 09/03/2009 at 2:47am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 10:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy