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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (10857)
On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13970) - you deserved it (37281)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47490) - you deserved it (6507)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I lost my virginity. I also found out that if I have a powerful enough orgasm, I am launched into a lengthy and uncontrollable sneezing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23796) - you deserved it (2859)
On 11/06/2010 at 10:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (4303)
On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (7419)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22644) - you deserved it (3625)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (30659)
On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5584) - you deserved it (46850)
On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39724) - you deserved it (3058)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30141) - you deserved it (1667)
On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (3563)
On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States
Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21588) - you deserved it (7192)
On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (2709)
On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6638) - you deserved it (35201)
On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Monday 17 June 2013
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