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xX_LilSammie_Xx's favorite FMLs
by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by cdn_steed / 04/23/2011 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was about to get on stage for a choir concert, and realized I had no where to put my phone. Running out of time, I tucked it in the front of my dress and got on stage. I should have put it on silent first. FML
by RingRing / 12/11/2010 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Geek
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…