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xX_LilSammie_Xx

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xX_LilSammie_Xx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1255
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Visits<b>sanuxo_</b> - yesterday at 10:21pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:22am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:01pm<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:44am<b>Smeagol1861</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:43am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:26pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 9:38am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:49pm<b>fmltrc</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:21pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:05am<b>greenbeanlol</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Saso</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:13pm<b>Aurelian</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Schminkyg6136</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:22pm<b>teddybear234</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:48pm<b>baxeh</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 1:42pm<b>hayfail</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:24am

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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xX_LilSammie_Xx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51234) - you deserved it (9845)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

#16922992
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34875) - you deserved it (4798)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (12112)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50358) - you deserved it (7821)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (4159)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38189) - you deserved it (9064)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46198) - you deserved it (15428)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70689) - you deserved it (15335)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46839) - you deserved it (8187)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15949) - you deserved it (47543)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69861) - you deserved it (6570)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43346) - you deserved it (7940)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47686) - you deserved it (8116)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

#14442840
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35057) - you deserved it (5836)

On 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was about to get on stage for a choir concert, and realized I had no where to put my phone. Running out of time, I tucked it in the front of my dress and got on stage. I should have put it on silent first. FML

#14162171
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6981) - you deserved it (30023)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:12am - misc - by RingRing - United States (California)



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