About xXLucian : 23, not much else to say. Any Q's just ask.
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xXLucian's favorite FMLs
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
by SolaceInRage / 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
by um... maybe / 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2013 at 9:41am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I… Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I… Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like,…