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xXLucian

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xXLucian
  • Town/Country : Michigan, Usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 134
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xXLucian : 23, not much else to say. Any Q's just ask.

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xXLucian's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46230) - you deserved it (15914)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25765) - you deserved it (37125)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47196) - you deserved it (11114)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (22067)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (3161)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41601) - you deserved it (6437)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28524) - you deserved it (3190)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13618) - you deserved it (39197)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36256) - you deserved it (8100)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (4039)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (11676)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35946) - you deserved it (8597)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML



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