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About xXLenaXx : Oh hai.
I study French and Japanese at uni in the UK. Nothing pretentious; I, in fact, suck quite badly.
I hate wet socks and butterflies and Mariah Carey. Also see-through carrier bags, and punk music.
Anything else, I can cope with. :)
I HEART Ludovico Einaudi. Best composer ever. :D
Gory films steal my heart. The more psycho, the better ;) SAW films are yum.
I don't bite too hard, so msg me. :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6781) - you deserved it (20261)
On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25613) - you deserved it (2303)
On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (7342)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18853) - you deserved it (8710)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (46171) - you deserved it (10443)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6322) - you deserved it (24019)
On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52746) - you deserved it (12089)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37082) - you deserved it (8816)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46862) - you deserved it (12771)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (8495)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44532) - you deserved it (79659)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67564) - you deserved it (8432)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16856) - you deserved it (3668)
On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4683) - you deserved it (10357)
On 01/29/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by jalopenos - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, for the 25th time, an Indian called my cell phone asking for 'Pinkie'. I don't know who the hell Pinkie is, but I don't appreciate people calling wrong numbers while I'm having it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (6607)
On 11/07/2008 at 8:07pm - misc - by Hth - United States (Delaware)
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