Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About xXLenaXx : Oh hai.
I study French and Japanese at uni in the UK. Nothing pretentious; I, in fact, suck quite badly.
I hate wet socks and butterflies and Mariah Carey. Also see-through carrier bags, and punk music.
Anything else, I can cope with. :)
I HEART Ludovico Einaudi. Best composer ever. :D
Gory films steal my heart. The more psycho, the better ;) SAW films are yum.
I don't bite too hard, so msg me. :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Friday 17 October 2014