Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xSalashawty

Offline (yesterday at 6:43pm) | Search for a member

xSalashawty

2Fucked!

xSalashawtyxSalashawty
  • Town/Country : Hell, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 April 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2279
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About xSalashawty : Psychotic. c'x that one girl who has been known to fit the quote "it's the silent ones you have to look out for."

xSalashawty's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:01am<b>sarahrosie1996</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:41pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:05pm<b>ocrud</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:15am<b>kakezzz</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:52pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:27pm<b>SupernovaEclipse</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:42pm<b>howard1954</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:34pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 10:29pm<b>DisturbedSRT8</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:40pm<b>hjohnson1014</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:29pm<b>_Domster_46</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:34pm<b>LizzyMaher</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:12am<b>Zombiebait56</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:52pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:55am<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:46pm

Fucked!<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:42am<b>aine500</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:21am

xSalashawty's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of xSalashawty's badges

xSalashawty's favorite FMLs

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (7721)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

#21439546
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (2218)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML

#21438976
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (2167)

On 07/09/2015 at 10:38am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (7552)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (3326)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

#21420551
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (3215)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:59am - misc - by bloody hell (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36803) - you deserved it (2561)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (4303)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

#21418416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31103) - you deserved it (4850)

On 05/31/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by bonehead69 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (7090)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (4017) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (17450)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: