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xSalashawty

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xSalashawty

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xSalashawtyxSalashawty
  • Town/Country : Hell, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 April 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 611
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About xSalashawty : Psychotic. c'x that one girl who has been known to fit the quote "it's the silent ones you have to look out for."

xSalashawty's page activity

Visits<b>Manosapo</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - yesterday at 7:25am<b>schwaka</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:12pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Paultheouctopus</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:52am<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:13pm<b>Soccer_Playr</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:27pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:36pm<b>kitkat3308</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:18am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:01pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 11:59pm<b>bluemonkey16</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:14pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:41pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:48am<b>Senseless_487</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:17am

xSalashawty's FML badges

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xSalashawty's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35274) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32482) - you deserved it (7546)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47629) - you deserved it (3551)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46774) - you deserved it (3795)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39084) - you deserved it (3443)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64447) - you deserved it (4105)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38135) - you deserved it (5991)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36697) - you deserved it (7817)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39182) - you deserved it (24210)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (36094)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36181) - you deserved it (17568)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38024) - you deserved it (3447)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38834) - you deserved it (7068)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (42591)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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