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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (36092)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16960) - you deserved it (1335)
On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you deserved it (864)
On 09/15/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (6544)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:37am - work - by Fackwork (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (1660)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my neighbor passed away, and my father and I went to give his wife our condolences. In the middle of my dad's conversation with the wife, he says "I'm sorry for your loss, I knew Jim well, he was a great guy." The wife stares at him and says, "His name was Rich." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (4746)
On 06/24/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Elliott_B (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had sex with a juggalo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12027) - you deserved it (40839)
On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I parked three streets away despite the ungodly cold. I did this because in the past, on my street, I have had my car keyed, my tires slashed, and my side view mirror ripped off. When I went back out to my car, I found that someone had broken off my windshield wipers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (2689)
On 02/03/2011 at 7:52am - misc - by vikingunicorn (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (3505)
On 12/10/2010 at 6:37am - misc - by iamnotuseless -
Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (2162)
On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland
Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (1862)
On 09/26/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (2383)
On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you deserved it (2548)
On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to write a huge lab for my physics class. It's worth my entire quarter grade and I use a program on a CD for graphing. My mom thought it was a computer game and hid the CD. She can't find it. The lab's due tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (2477)
On 10/05/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Bento (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38367) - you deserved it (2361)
On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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