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xLunarius

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xLunarius
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  • Number of visits : 166
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xLunarius's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14670) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

#5642401
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46189) - you deserved it (4026)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by CapeRanger (man) - South Africa (Limpopo)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56922) - you deserved it (3249)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML

#3069327
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52867) - you deserved it (1940)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

#2298353
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50969) - you deserved it (16765)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:38am - kids - by tsakashvili (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

#290845
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84392) - you deserved it (3489)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)



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