xLunarius

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/12/2014 at 12:53pm)

xLunarius

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 592
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

xLunarius's page activity

Visits<b>xThatOneWeirdGuy</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:29pm<b>pepsiisgross</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:32am<b>CB_LAZ3</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 4:55pm<b>SadMansSandwich</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:11pm<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 3:59am<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 8:50pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 11:54am

xLunarius's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of xLunarius's badges

xLunarius's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML

by 713 / 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

by CapeRanger / 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm / South Africa (Limpopo) / Miscellaneous

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML

by goodstudent / 06/20/2009 at 7:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

by tsakashvili / 05/26/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (New York) / Money