FML is my personal motto.
Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you totally deserved it (950)
On 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by grossuncle (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18110) - you totally deserved it (2759)
On 12/31/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by Unloving (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I could help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you totally deserved it (9349)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you totally deserved it (1446)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you totally deserved it (6761)
On 11/11/2009 at 5:10pm - love - by kiwi (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8304) - you totally deserved it (19715)
On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24496) - you totally deserved it (1979)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from a mobile version
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you totally deserved it (7429)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44583) - you totally deserved it (3751)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you totally deserved it (5076)
On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51525) - you totally deserved it (3585)
On 07/13/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by FirstKiss (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6513) - you totally deserved it (92422)
On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally got Wii Fit to lose some weight. Came home and set it all up only to be told that I weigh too much to use the board. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41703) - you totally deserved it (19386)
On 07/07/2009 at 10:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7476) - you totally deserved it (41218)
On 06/24/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by Whoops (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45983) - you totally deserved it (2009)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
