xKandaxYuux

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Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 4:20am)

xKandaxYuux

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1572
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xKandaxYuux's page activity

Visits<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:21pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:35pm<b>MTLCH</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 2:29pm<b>blazon_paradox</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 2:23am<b>mariet</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 2:32pm<b>ForeverFemme</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 5:20am<b>Hellioness</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 1:34am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 2:05pm<b>SuperFmine</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 9:18am<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:48am<b>Ohsix</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 12:39am<b>plaguer</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 7:43pm<b>dontpanic</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 6:11pm<b>greg84</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 5:00pm<b>semrau</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 4:11pm<b>kalejaxson</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:38pm<b>VolleyAly</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:16pm

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xKandaxYuux's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

by Adoptee / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Kids

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

by rawr / 04/20/2011 at 10:15am / Work

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

by BrokeAndPsst / 04/12/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

by hopeless / 04/08/2011 at 11:03am / Love

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

by Nate / 03/31/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

by Zibby / 02/11/2011 at 12:51am / Intimacy

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 11:27am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

by lizzy1843 / 01/26/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals