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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (3308)
On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (6519)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (3231)
On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (41198)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65182) - you deserved it (6889)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (38321)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34457) - you deserved it (2750)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (9017)
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35037) - you deserved it (4788)
On 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sheyshey0413 - United States (Florida)
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17649) - you deserved it (35985)
On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31590) - you deserved it (11582)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9253) - you deserved it (34653)
On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (13474)
On 05/30/2011 at 10:59am - health - by skigal24 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52414) - you deserved it (9889)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43695) - you deserved it (3395)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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