Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xKandaxYuux

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 4:20am) | Search for a member

xKandaxYuux

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 722
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xKandaxYuux's page activity

Visits<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:21pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:35pm<b>MTLCH</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 2:29pm<b>blazon_paradox</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 2:23am<b>mariet</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 2:32pm<b>ForeverFemme</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 5:20am<b>Hellioness</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 1:34am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 2:05pm<b>SuperFmine</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 9:18am<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:48am<b>Ohsix</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 12:39am<b>plaguer</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 7:43pm<b>dontpanic</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 6:11pm<b>greg84</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 5:00pm<b>semrau</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 4:11pm<b>kalejaxson</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:38pm<b>VolleyAly</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:16pm

xKandaxYuux's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xKandaxYuux's badges

xKandaxYuux's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (22611)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (22611)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

#18071485
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (13771)

On 10/25/2011 at 11:00am - health - by Michael - Australia

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

#18052733
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32536) - you deserved it (4017)

On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (2440)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

#17889582
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33931) - you deserved it (4294)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by rufusthepenis - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML

#17832717
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29968) - you deserved it (3909)

On 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by sadkid - United States

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19207) - you deserved it (32887)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (5722)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31848) - you deserved it (3816)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (27753)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (4813)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29031) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25042) - you deserved it (4813)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32886) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: