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xKandaxYuux

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xKandaxYuux
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 500
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xKandaxYuux's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (2398)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (2310)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15402) - you deserved it (50598)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (5162)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33418) - you deserved it (5994)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

#18525206
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7450) - you deserved it (27275)

On 12/16/2011 at 1:31am - health - by Username (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46334) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (7793)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you deserved it (14179)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (5843)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (21775)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States



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