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Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 4:20am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1774
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xKandaxYuux's page activity

Visits<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:21pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:35pm<b>MTLCH</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 2:29pm<b>blazon_paradox</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 2:23am<b>mariet</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 2:32pm<b>ForeverFemme</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 5:20am<b>Hellioness</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 1:34am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 2:05pm<b>SuperFmine</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 9:18am<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:48am<b>Ohsix</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 12:39am<b>plaguer</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 7:43pm<b>dontpanic</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 6:11pm<b>greg84</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 5:00pm<b>semrau</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 4:11pm<b>kalejaxson</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:38pm<b>VolleyAly</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:16pm

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xKandaxYuux's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

by balkangirl94 / 12/23/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

by Brit / 12/16/2011 at 3:50am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

by Username / 12/16/2011 at 1:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

by me / 11/30/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy