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xKandaxYuux's favorite FMLs
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by balkangirl94 / 12/23/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Brit / 12/16/2011 at 3:50am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Username / 12/16/2011 at 1:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by me / 11/30/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy