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xKandaxYuux's favorite FMLs
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Gayeveryday / 04/15/2012 at 12:12am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Tanner / 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by belieber101 / 03/17/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Janitor / 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by pmony / 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy
by Cpt Colin / 01/03/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture…