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Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 4:20am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1759
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xKandaxYuux's page activity

Visits<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:21pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:35pm<b>MTLCH</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 2:29pm<b>blazon_paradox</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 2:23am<b>mariet</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 2:32pm<b>ForeverFemme</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 5:20am<b>Hellioness</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 1:34am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 2:05pm<b>SuperFmine</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 9:18am<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:48am<b>Ohsix</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 12:39am<b>plaguer</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 7:43pm<b>dontpanic</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 6:11pm<b>greg84</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 5:00pm<b>semrau</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 4:11pm<b>kalejaxson</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:38pm<b>VolleyAly</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:16pm

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xKandaxYuux's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

by fmylyfe / 11/09/2013 at 9:15am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

by nottoosmall / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 12:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

by areyoukiddingme / 01/07/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML

by Brad / 01/03/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

by kmtranter / 12/28/2012 at 6:40am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Intimacy

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

by lingling / 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm / United States (Maryland) / Work