About xJo420 : I'm the best, mang.
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Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57469) - you deserved it (3431)
On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27558) - you deserved it (3155)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (1142)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7612) - you deserved it (11195)
On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States
Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (1594)
On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6262) - you deserved it (19531)
On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5527) - you deserved it (13456)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15951) - you deserved it (782)
On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16506) - you deserved it (3122)
On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States
Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (13188)
On 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm - misc - by kumbuck3t15 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (9448)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5697) - you deserved it (21322)
On 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10441) - you deserved it (22957)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (2881)
On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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