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xDochx

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xDochx
  • Town/Country : Chicago, 'Murcia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 771
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xDochx : I enjoy lurking in the comments, usually they're better than the fml. If I've looked ar your.profile it's probably just because I wanted to see your pic. If I've looked multiple times sorry, not trying to creep, I just forgot. Cats are soft. Du bist fettleibig.

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xDochx's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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xDochx's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53776) - you deserved it (22274)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45274) - you deserved it (4572)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my girlfriend to see "Frozen," which she had been talking about for weeks. After I bought the snacks, she told me that she couldn't believe I was going to watch a princess movie and walked out on me for not being "manly." She took the popcorn with her. FML

#21009271
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46490) - you deserved it (3621)

On 12/29/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41453) - you deserved it (4621)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35005) - you deserved it (2824)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you deserved it (4931)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45814) - you deserved it (6274)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (3874)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44800) - you deserved it (2569)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49642) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

#20978895
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38519) - you deserved it (14608)

On 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39780) - you deserved it (3438)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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