About xDarylDixonx : I like the walking dead. I love Daryl (Norman Reedus).
xDarylDixonx's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
xDarylDixonx's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/06/2015 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by fml / 08/10/2013 at 6:48am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
by some people's parents / 04/18/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Money
by Anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Intimacy
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Colorado) / Money
by stolen / 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by mike / 02/07/2010 at 2:16am / United States (West Virginia) / Love
by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I was on a bus coming from the Melbourne airport. I went camping the previous week. On the… Today, I was playing video games in the dark and drinking soda during the slow periods. When I took… Today, my phone fell from the table. I desperately tried to catch it with my foot, but I completely…