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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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xChesterx

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xChesterx
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 December 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 665
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About xChesterx : I like to draw
I like to read
I like music
I like T.V (Lost, Bones, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, Buffy, Angel)
I like sugar
I loathe sports.
I'm very lazy :)
Movies are awesome.


Dolphins and kangaroos scare me.

Message me :)
I'll reply
...probably

xChesterx's last visitors

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xChesterx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xChesterx's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (34138) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

#5455728 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (18586)

On 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my 5th birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

#5087899 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (5474) - you deserved it (44632)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Ex-girlfried (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (15060) - you deserved it (21613)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (42994) - you deserved it (2238)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34982) - you deserved it (98543)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (4797)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (6535)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (72683)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

#2131299 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21079) - you deserved it (48320)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

#1842179 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (50230) - you deserved it (1990)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML

#1683543 (544)

I agree, your life sucks (15214) - you deserved it (82663)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167980) - you deserved it (51066)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (29095) - you deserved it (63587)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)