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wtffml1979

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wtffml1979

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 653
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About wtffml1979 : About me? What about you?

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wtffml1979's favorite FMLs

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22346) - you deserved it (5349)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19104) - you deserved it (39678)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

#19608696
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37518) - you deserved it (6365)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39248) - you deserved it (3686)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8580) - you deserved it (28274)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

#19142645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (10505)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - health - by SmallTownCutie -

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (3074)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

#18724362
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (2936)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by only 10 more hours to go (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43838) - you deserved it (7939)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML

#18102267
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (2734)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by camille - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (4297)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24204) - you deserved it (4015)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

#17457372
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39259) - you deserved it (16995)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:25am - love - by badass - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15374) - you deserved it (57100)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)



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