About wtffml1979 : About me? What about you?
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28220) - you deserved it (6234)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (2182)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (4657)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16119) - you deserved it (2695)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16974) - you deserved it (7406)
On 10/20/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18867)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11266) - you deserved it (20329)
On 08/23/2012 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Rotarius (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6855) - you deserved it (107099)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (2212)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15406) - you deserved it (1967)
On 08/10/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by blink_kid - United Kingdom (West Lothian)
Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16151) - you deserved it (898)
On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States
Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (4003)
On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14697) - you deserved it (26596)
On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (1948)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28987) - you deserved it (4265)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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