Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wtffml1979

Offline (the 09/29/2014 at 3:05am) | Search for a member

wtffml1979

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 439
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About wtffml1979 : About me? What about you?

wtffml1979's page activity

Visits<b>CEC710</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:58am<b>Treken</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:06pm<b>fabricio_12345</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:40pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:19pm<b>lm1288</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:32am<b>aWalrus13</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:26am<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:57pm<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:12am<b>karlye1029</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:06pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:40pm<b>tifdunc</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 12:53am<b>lexypaige</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:47pm<b>pumboc</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:42pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:10pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 5:47pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 8:40pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:52pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 3:49pm

wtffml1979's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of wtffml1979's badges

wtffml1979's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (4010)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

#21148769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48087) - you deserved it (15145)

On 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

#21116561
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (3758)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

#20694473
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53451) - you deserved it (8994)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38562) - you deserved it (9266)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (3050)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35774) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (3711)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML

#20124733
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (10947)

On 10/20/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7510) - you deserved it (28369)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML

#20037577
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16626) - you deserved it (31318)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Rotarius (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11414) - you deserved it (152462)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

#20024649
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33240) - you deserved it (3208)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

#20013231
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (2761)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by blink_kid - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

#19992409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21621) - you deserved it (1419)

On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: